Red Traffic Lights

Green
Please proceed as per normal, while obeying speed limit of the area

Amber
Please slow down, or speed up if you think you can make it.

Red
Stop, and if there are no cops or cameras, then you RUN!

*Under no circumstances should anyone ever run a red light, or take this post seriously.

**GO SPARKLE MONSTERS!

Suprise of... well, today.

So. From the title, you probably figured out that I had a suprise today. I was scrolling through a camera, taking passport photos. I came across this weird movie.

My little sister had filmed a movie of herself, acting like a vampire, sniffing out blood. It was actually quite funny. Checking the date, it was filmed yesterday. The coincidence was that we went mulberry picking today.

For those of you who have never been mulberry picking, there's a few words that can describe it but four words can pretty much sum it up. Messy, delicious, fake blood.

Mulberry juice is purple when dry but when it's fresh and really thick, it really does look like blood. When it's dry you might be able to pass it as an old bruise in the right light, and if you're really squinting. It's a trick I've used to get out of doing Physical Education in primary school. I guess i was devious even then.

Anyway, mulberry blood stains allover our fingers and lips, and in my sister's case, dribbling down her chin, like blood. And my mum didn't bat an eye. Well she did, but i meant she didn't mind our black humour.

So it makes you think. Well it made me think anyway.

Our lives are so ruled by media, and a while ago, social politics and the church in the western world. If media had made necrophilia and anything related to the subject "bad", then my sister wouldn't have made that video.

I'm probably going to put all this in a book i'm writing. Or incorporate it into depressing poetry. Or maybe a song for my garage band that i do not have as i don't have a garage, know how to play an instrument, have no interest in actually making music and am a little stage frightened at times.

So one question i have unanswered after writing all this.

Why? Why are we all this and not that, whatever that is. If anyone has an answer, could you put it in comments, as I sure as heck don't. Don't know the answer, that is.

Ciao, Au Revoiur, et cetera...

Me. I think...

P.S I should stop using elipsis points, and treating this blog like a letter. Still... Damn, i did it again. Oh well.

Early Holiday Compex (EHC)

Early Holiday Complex or EHC occurs in people, especially students, to behave in a manner that would suggest that they are already on holidays, when their actual holiday is in the very near future.

Symptoms include, but are in no way limited to:
Non-permanent ink on skin, especially on face and hands, and often drawn on in the shape of flowers or the Sparkle Monsters Cult.
Joining the Sparkle Monsters Cult
General rowdiness, noise and lack of concentration
Colouring in head and profile shots of Tinker bell
Prone to quoting classics, especially Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Citing symptoms of EHC
Euphoric (High)
Acting in ways the victim would not normally behave

Victims cannot be held accountable for their actions and cannot explain themselves, as they are not themselves, you see. EHC victims are not generally violent, but if provoked physically, they will respond accordingly, and often are hard to stop once they reach this frenzy.

Cure
The best cure for an EHC victim is starting the victim on an early holiday, or if this course of action cannot be executed, indulging the victim with activities that do not require much mental concentration.
Activities can include watching educational movies, cross-words, colouring-in sheets (preferably of Tinker-Bell), eating chocolate and ice-cream, leisure swimming, reading, listening to music or surfing the internet. The types of activities that are good for EHC victims are relaxing. These activities will reduce most symptoms and victims can stay quiet for stretches up to half an hour.

This is not a permanent mental disorder, and disappears once the victim is on holidays.

Compiled by Jenny Nguyen, an EHC victim